Entry #97 - Film #17-20

Its still October and It's also time to catch on the 31 Days of Halloween entries I pretty much abandoned.

Film #17: Of Unknown Origin (1983)

Directed by George P. Cosmatos

Rated R

88 Mins.

Watched on DVD.

Peter Weller battles a large rat that is taring up his house and pretty much goes crazy in the process. This is directed the great director of Cobra and Tombstone, I believe this is his best movie. Peter Weller is also excellent. This film also shows you how great Canadian Horror film were in the eighties. You can find this movie really cheap, I got mine at Big Lots. I suggest you get one too.  

Film #18: Murder Party (2007)

Directed by Jeremy Saulnier

Unrated

79 Mins.

Watched on DVD.

Some random guy is invited to a party so the people throwing it can kill him for Art sake or something like that. This is a fun low-budget horror film. For some odd reason this film is that well known and its better than most big-budget horror films. 

Film #19: Lifeforce (1985)

Directed by Tobe Hooper

Rated R

116 Mins.

Watched on DVD.

I fucking love this movie. Its about Space Vampire to the best of my knowledge. Has some of the best nude scene in film history. Its a cannon produced mess, but its amazing to watch. Probably my second favorite Tobe Hooper film. I will probably write a full in-depth review of this movie in the future, but until then here is the whole movie.

Film #20:Dressed to Kill (1981)

Directed by Brian De Palma

Rated R.

105 Mins.

Watched on DVD.

Brian De Palma, Michael Caine, an in-her-prime Nancy Allen, whats not to like. A blonde in a red dress is murdering Michael Caine's patients. There is plot twist and what-not. It's a fun movie. Watch it.

Entry #96 - Film #16: KISS Meets the Phantom of the Park (1978)

Day #16 of Eli Osman.com's 31 Days of Halloween. All day today I have had a song stuck in my head. That song is "Shout it Out Loud" by KISS. So for Today's film I have proudly chosen the Hanna Barbara produced TV movie...

KISS Meets the Phantom of the Park (1978)

 Directed by Gordon Hessler

Not Rated

96 Mins. 

Watched a Bootleg Copy

Summary

The tale of rock band KISS and their efforts to thwart a diabolical plan by mad scientist Abner Devereaux. Devereaux has found a way to clone humans into robots in his laboratory at an amusement park. It just so happens that he plans to uses the KISS concert as a platform to unleash his plan on the world. KISS must use their special powers to stop him

Just out at Peter Criss on that cover. Just look at him. He is my favorite member of KISS, mostly because he is the worst member of KISS. Not that is is a bad musician, but he has the worst persona. He is a cat for crying out loud and not a tiger or something, but more of an Andrew Lloyd Weber cat. The weird thing about this movie is that people like it mainly because it exist. A Hanna Barbara TV movie aimed for kids with a Scooby Do like plot featuring the crazy rock band KISS. That craziness is what drew me to this movie, surprisingly this movie isn't that good. But no matter what I say about this movie, you will still watch it. Its a movie for kids starring KISS, it will be watched.

Grade: Peter Criss

Entry #94 - Film #15: Frankenstein (1992)

Day #15. I Hate You.

I'm about half way done with this ridiculous month long blog. I originally planned on watching a horror movie a day and reviewing it, but that is too much work and frankly stupid. I'm stupid. So, instead I am just doing a quick write-up on movies I once saw and enjoyed on some capacity and today's movie I once saw and enjoyed on some capacity is...

Frankenstein (1992)

Directed by David Wickes

Not Rated

117 Mins.

Watched a VHS-rip

Summary

Dr. Victor Frankenstein creates his creature, who escapes into the countryside to find that humanity has only pain and sorrow for him. But a psychic link between created and creator draws the two ever nearer, until their paths must inevitably cross again.

Technically this is a TV movie, but I like this version better than the Kenneth Branagh and Robert De Niro version. I watched it when it originally aired on TNT with my father and we still talk about this movie when either Frankenstein and/or Randy Quaid comes up in conversation. It brings more science fiction to the story without calling attention to itself. I recently re-watched this movie I believe it holds up and it still an excellent TV movie. I believe its also a BBC production which are normally good. 

Grade: B-

Entry #93 - Film #14: Galaxy of Terror (1981)

Day #14 of the long long month of October. Today's film is also fresh from the Shout Factory and their new Roger Corman's Cult Classic collection and I now proudly introduce...

Galaxy of Terror (1981)
aka Mind Warp: An Infinity of Terror

Directed by Bruce Clark

Rated R

81 Mins.

Watched on Blu-ray

Summary

Dispatched to a distant world to rescue the crew of the spacecraft Remus, astronauts aboard the star-ship Quest instead find their comrades gruesomely slaughtered -- and themselves on a journey into mortal terror. After forces emanating from a mysterious pyramid pull the Quest down to the planet's surface, each cosmonaut's worst nightmare soon becomes a reality. Edward Albert, Erin Moran and Ray Walston star in this gory sci-fi flick.

I once rented this movie about 12 years ago when I was little and I remember liking it. I recently purchased it on Blu-ray, which is an amazing Blu-ray. The transfer is mind blowing and the special features are really good. This is also available on DVD. I highly recommend purchasing this movie. It is great cheap sci-fi horror film.

Grade: B

Entry #92 - Film #13: Kingdom of the Spiders (1977)

Day #13. Today's film is fresh from Shout Factory with an amazing transfer featuring crystal clear images of spiders glued to Shatner's face and behold the glory of...

Kingdom of the Spiders (1977)

Directed John Bud Cardos

Rated PG

97 Mins.

Watched on DVD

Summary

Investigating the mysterious deaths of a number of farm animals, vet Rack Hansen discovers that his town lies in the path of hoards of migrating tarantulas. Before he can take action, the streets are overrun by killer spiders, trapping a small group of towns folk in a remote hotel.

William Shatner fights spiders, what more I do have to say. He fights fucking spiders. Watch it.

Grade: B-

Entry #91 - Film #12: Lost Boys: The Tribe (2008)

Day #12. I am a fan of Corey Feldman and I want to watch the new Lost Boys movie starring the Frog Brothers, but first I need to watch the previous installment in the series...

Lost Boys: The Tribe (2008)

 Directed by PJ Pesce

Rated R

94 Mins.

Watched on Netflix Watch Instantly

Summary

The orphan and former surfer Chris Emerson and his sister Nicole Emerson move to Luna Bay expecting to initiate a new life without housing expenses with their Aunt Jillian, but she charges rent to the siblings for a wrecked house, and Chris seeks a job working as board shaper to raise money for the unforeseeable expenses. While in town, he meets his acquaintance and also former surfer Shane Powers that invites Chris for a surf parting at night. Then the siblings unsuccessfully seek out the board shaper and vampire hunter Edgar Frog in his trailer trying to find a job and Chris leaves a message for him. They go to Shane's party and Nicole stays with Shane and drinks booze offered by him. Later she becomes a half-vampire and Edgar advises that she drank vampire's blood and can only be saved if the head-vampire is killed. Chris and Edgar search the hiding place of Shane and his tribe to save Nicole. 

Entry #90 - Film #11: House (1986)

Day #11. Jeremiah Young from Behold My Giant Human Brain came over and we watched this...

House (1986)

Directed by Steve Miner

Rated R

93 Mins.

Watched on DVD

Summary

Roger Cobb is a Vietnam vet. Whose career as a horror novelist has taken a turn for the worse when his son Jimmy mysteriously disappears while visiting his aunt's house. Roger's search for Jimmy destroys his marriage and his writing career. The sudden death of his aunt brings Roger back to the house where his nightmares began. The evil zombies in the house force Roger to endure a harrowing journey into his past.

 Random Thoughts

·      Watching House with Jeremiah Young

·      He’s lame.

·      This must be all about a house because that’s all I see.

·      Director of Friday the 13^th Part 3D and Day of the Dead remake with Nick Canon

·      Looks like the dude from Greatest American Hero.

·      Because it is William Katt.

·      LAME, I Say. Jeremiah is Lame.

·      My father just informed me that William Katt’s father was an actor on Perry Mason.

·      Billy Bass.

·      Jeremiah is stealing my jokes.

·      Blogging at the same time was a stupid idea.

·      I bet Nichole Kidman and kids are the ghost. Called it.

·      NORM!

·      I wonder how Vera is doing?

·      We probably won’t see her.

·      Bull from Night Court. I had no idea Richard Moll was in this. I fuckin’ love that dude.

·      I love Night Court.

·      At this point I should make some sort of HGTV joke.

·      I think Jeremiah just wrote IT’S ON. Lame.

·      NORM!

·      Beverage Time. Jeremiah concurs.

·      We are drinking Hawaiian Punch because we are 7.

·      Jeremiah just spilt Hawaiian Punch on my floor.

·      NORM!

·      Billy Bass. Take me to the river.

·      Katt about to be puppeted.

·      NORM!

·      NORM!

·      With goggles.

This movie is very entertaining and mostly its a fun movie, even though its a blatant rip-off of
The Evil Dead movies I still recommend it.

Grade: C+

Entry #89 - Film #10: The Brood (1979)

Today is Day #10 and the film is the classic David Cronenberg motion picture...

The Brood (1979)

Directed by David Cronenberg

Rated R

92 Mins.

Watched on DVD

Summary

A man tries to uncover an unconventional psychologist's therapy techniques on his institutionalized wife, while a series of brutal attacks committed by a brood of mutant children coincides with the husband's investigation.


Not my favorite Cronenberg film, but definitely a good one and a must for any movie buff. Really all Cronenberg films are a must for anyone who likes movies.

Grade: A-

Entry #88 - Film #9: Meat Market (2001)

Today's review will be different, I think I might actually use some of my college gained knowledge of opinionated analysis to form a more intelligent review. In others word, I will be doing no Random Thoughts, but instead actually critique this film instead of just using this film to tell stupid jokes. There will still be stupid jokes, but there will be fewer stupid jokes and maybe some of them will be on a grander scale than normal.I am not doing this in full college mode because if I have to do another works cited page or write in MLA style in my lifetime, I will kill. That being said, today's film will be the first in a Homemade Zombie Trilogy...  

Meat Market (2001)

Directed by Brian Clement

Not Rated

91 Mins. 

Watched on Netflix Watch Instantly

Summary

When two former employees of a company that conducts bizarre medical experiments put two and two together, they realize that a series of "animal attacks" reported by the media are actually the work of flesh-eating zombies created by the company. As the walking dead invade the city, the two truth-seekers team up with three vampire women, a washed-up Mexican wrestler, a wounded soldier and a mysterious scientist to fight for their lives.

Everyone loves Zombies including myself, that being said, Zombies are stupid. I am not talking about your intelligence, which is low, but the whole idea and the films themselves.

Grade: D+

Entry #87 - Film #8: Resident Evil: Afterlife (2010)

Day #8 of 31 Days of Halloween. Lets get this over with. Today's movie is still somewhat fresh in the theaters and made reasonable money and that films is...

Resident Evil: Afterlife (2010)

 Directed by Paul W.S. Anderson

 Rated R

97 Mins.

Watched a Bootleg Copy

Summary

While still out to destroy the evil Umbrella Corporation, Alice joins a group of survivors who want to relocate to the mysterious but supposedly unharmed safe haven known only as Arcadia.

A DVD Quality version of this film leaked online and I ungracefully downloaded it. I paid this amount of money this film deserves...none. I seen the rest, so I will not be lost in the complex storytelling masterful concocted by Paul W.S. Anderson. 

Random Thoughts

• Paul W.S. Anderson is such hack.
• I kind of hate almost all uses of slow-motion in movies.
• I wonder how this franchise would be if they didn't fire George A. Romero.
• Most likely still suckie, but a little entertaining.
• I really enjoyed the last Resident Evil movie, it had a awesome Damnation Alley vibe.
• Plus it was directed by Russell Mulcahy. This is not.
• Its like the people who made this movies only saw was the Matrix Trilogy.
• Seriously, I dislike slow-motion.
• Oh damn, there is multiple Millas.
• Lame.
• She reminds me of the girls from that Robert Palmer music video.
• You'll might as well face your addicted to love.
• I like that song.
• Good, I would have kill them off too. They were stupid.
• So is this guy and this movie.
• Why is in the post-apocalyptic future the only forms of clothing comes in tight black leather. 
• So only those crappy leather stores in the mall exist. Good for them. No one ever shows there.
• Flashback for us who actually care.
• Even at the end of the world it doesn't stop dumb chicks from  Vlogging. 
• Should she be Vlogging while flying a plane. Thats not a good idea.
• Its paper.
• I fucking hate lame slow-motion.
• This movie is about 80% slow-motion sequences. Its worst than Thriller: They Call Her One Eye.
• More 85%.
• No 90%/.
• Paul W.S. Anderson, you are a hack and a terrible director. 
• but I do like Event Horizon and the Kurt Russell film Soldier. Those are surprisingly good films from a shitty director.
• This director is HOMO for SLOMO. 
• I dislike this movie, but I am not bored, so I guess this film isn't that bad.
• Its Over.

This movie is lame and oddly enjoyable. I hate this film, but I will probably watch the sequel. I don't really recommend this movie, but that won't stop you guys. Nothing will.

Grade: C

Entry #86 - Film #7: NIght of the Demon (1980)

It's Day #7 of this Horrible, Terrifying, Monstrous, Macabre, and Potpourri 31 Days of Halloween. I have already been slacking on my entry, so today I am proud to introduce, an amazing achievement in Bigfoot Cinema. A film notorious for being a ultra-violent, rare, over-the-top, rape-filled, horrible gore-fest. Without further notice, I behold to the world...

Night of the Demon (1980)

Directed by James C. Wasson

Unrated

92 Mins.

Watched a Bootleg Copy

Summary

Professor Nugent and his students embark on a journey to locate Bigfoot believed to be responsible for countless deaths. They disturb a Black Magic ritual and eventually uncover the truth about Bigfoot, and his offspring, but who will believe them?

Entry #85 - Film #6 : Open House (1987)

Today is Day 6 of this long long month of October and we are still in the early stretch of this 31 Days of Halloween Monster I've started. I don't know how Jeremiah Young is doing at Behold My Giant Human Brain, but I must say, no I must shout, MY GAWD, WHAT HAVE WE DONE?!?! In other words, I am finding it difficult to watch a movie each day and reviewing it on top of working full time and play practice. I am in a local production of Agatha Christie's And Then There Were None, I play Rogers, the Butler or as it says in the script "the House-Parlor Man." Its a delightful murder mystery, you guys should come, I believe the performances are on the last two weekends of this month. Anyway, The last two days' reviews have been super terrible, just look at Zombie 5: Killing Birds, I didn't even finish the movie. But to be fair I plan on finishing it in the next couple of days. That entry is a work in progress. So, I plan to Keep Truckin' like the do-dah man, together, more or less in line.

Any-Who, for today's Mandatory Halloween Blog Filling Quota, I picked a most-likely terrible slasher movie from my Netflix Queue and that movie is...

Open House (1987)

Directed by Jag Mundhra

Rated R

98 Mins.

Watched on Netflix Watch Instantly

Summary

A serial killer is preying on beautiful female real estate agents who show pricey Los Angeles homes, and radio psychologist David Kelley (Joseph Bottoms) believes that one of his callers is the psychopath. Can he deduce the killer's identity before he strikes again? David's girlfriend, Lisa Grant (Adrienne Barbeau), is a prosperous Realtor, and when she discovers that the murderer is using her listings to find victims, Lisa's life is endangered.

I never heard of this movie until, Netflix added tons of obscure movies from the MGM vaults. It's also from the tail end of the slasher film era and that's when they got really hackish and weird. Slasher film were pretty much dead, but Sexual Thrillers were becoming more and more famous. I believe some slasher film plots were refashioned for a more sexual thriller vibe and this movie falls into that category. 

I do like Adrienne Barbeau, but so did everybody in the eighties. I'm glad she is in this movie. I also love the randomness of the plot, a serial killer slaying real estate agents. Thats a really specific group of people to kill. Most guy some have gotten a bad apartment and lost alot of money or some sort of land deal went bad and the only way to make back a profit is to kill the Real Estate agent. I don't know, I'm just trying to think why someone would want to kill only Real Estate Agents. Maybe some guy saw his parents get murdered by Real Estate Agents and became a Batman-like vigilante stalking Real Estate Agents. I also wonder why someone would think of a slasher film set in the world of Real Estate, maybe the director got the idea from watching Glengarry Glen Ross or something.

The movie starts with a Dr. Frasier Crane like radio show with the host barely listening, folding paper airplanes while some girl talks about suicide and sleeping with her father. I like this opening, but I mostly love the score, which sounds alot like the Riggs' Theme from The Lethal Weapon Saga. It really brings all the over-the-top-ness together.

This film is a low-budget horror film made in the height of the 80's in Beverly Hills. So, this film is Super 80's with the hair and everything. I think at one point the Solid Gold Dancers show up, but that could have been a dream. I did watch this movie pretty late. It turns out the killer is surprisingly a homeless mongoloid who lives in the empty houses. He doesn't kill then agents in really violent ways, but in really nude ways, which is mostly better. Adrienne Barbeau is in this and she of course has a nude scene, so I recommend this movie. One of the first scenes I watch as a child was her scene in Swamp Thing. So, I get nudity nostalgia when I see her. 

Grade: C-

Entry #84 Film #5 : Zombie 5: Killing Birds (1987)

Welcome to Day #5 of this 31 days of Halloween thing or whatever. I want to take a nap.

Boom, Movie...

Zombie 5: Killing Birds (1987)

Directed by Claudio Lattanzi & Joe D'Amato

Not Rated

90 mins. 
Watched on DVD

Summary

When a group of student naturalists head for the Louisiana bayou to study birds, they bunk down near an old home steeped in secrets. Soon, they're picked off one by one by zombies and attacked by rabid birds. Could all this mayhem have to do with the killing, 20 years before, of a cuckolded husband who was literally pecked to death by the pet birds that belonged to the wife he murdered? Have they all come back from the dead to exact revenge?

Looks like pure shit. It's an Italian Horror film about a crazy man with killer birds and zombies thrown randomly in. I have not watch this yet, but I can already tell this is going to be a rough 90 minutes. It stars Robert Vaughn for crying out loud. I don't really dislike Robert Vaughn, but I do care about him. I am not looking forward to this movie. Its not even a sequel to the Lucio Fulci movie. They just threw Zombie 5 in front of a movie about Killer Birds and I know it has zombies in it. It is a Italian Horror film from the 80's. They all have zombies in them. You know what I am going to watch Some Kind of Wonderful starring Eric Stoltz on Netflix first to warm up then start this piece of shit.  Some Kind of Wonderful good, now we can begin.

Random Thoughts

• SHIT.
• Boring.
• I DON'T CARE.
• I hate you Robert Vaughn.
• Boobs.
• SHIT.
• This movie sucks.
• Killer Birds.
• I'm tired.
• I going to actually take a nap.
• finish later.

GRADE: D-

Entry #83 - Film #4: King Kong (1976)

Like friend of the site, Behold My Giant Human Brain I am also doing a 31 days of Halloween and
for today's film, I was in the mood to watch a monster flick and I recently required this movie from a friend...somehow. So without further notice I introduce to the world...

KING KONG (1976)

Directed by John Guillermin

Rated PG

134 mins.
Watched on DVD

Summary

I really shouldn't describe the plot. It's King Kong. Some stupid people go to an island, find a giant ape, and stupidly bring him to New York. Only the difference in this one than the other two versions is its super 1970's. There that's the summary, happy.

To be honest, I have never seen this movie. I have always been a fan of both Jeff Bridges and Charles Grodin. I do find it disrespectful seeing Kong straddling the twin towers like that. Thats just in bad taste, Kong. I blame Dino De Laurentiis. That magnificent Flash Gordon making bastard.

Random Thoughts

• I think the batteries are running low for my remote.
• If I shake the remote it works.
• Sea sick Charles Grodin, there is a joke somewhere in there.
• From the Director of Shaft in Africa comes...KING KONG.
• Only one thing can tame the beast...Astronomy.
• I like this movie, I got caught on and forgot to write stuff.
• Kind of a long movie, but not at long as the Peter Jackson one.
• I like Charles Grodin way more than Jack Black.
• Jessica Lange. 

Halfway through I forgot to write my random thoughts. I guess that's a good sign. This movie is nowhere as good as the original, but its a fun movie and a great adventure. I liked this more than I thought. This review sucks, but what can you do, sometimes I just wanna watch a movie. See y'all tomorrow.

Grade: B-

 

Entry #82 - Film #3: The Ghost and Mr. Chicken (1966)

It's Day #3 in the 31 days of Halloween and I decided to take a break from my usual blood-filled, boob-covered Shit films to show you the softer side of Horror movies, Halloween and ultimately myself with today's classic gem...

The Ghost and Mr. Chicken (1966)

Directed by Alan Rafkin

Not Rated

90 mins.
Watched on Netflix Watch Instantly

Summary

Mild-mannered typesetter Luther Heggs (Don Knotts) wants to be a respectable reporter, so he decides to get the scoop on local ghosts by spending a fated night at a haunted abode where there's been an unsolved murder. When the community thinks he's concocting a fable, he's determined to convince them of what he's witnessed. Will his sensational story make him a bona fide journalist? Liam Redmond and Joan Staley co-star in this classic comedy.

When I was a kid and I loved all the classic comedies, like The Three Stooges, Abbott & Costello, Dean Martin & Jerry Lewis, and Don Knotts. Its a style of comedy that doesn't exist much today. I always loved Don Knotts, I think Mr. Furley is way better than Mr. Roper. He had such a great fashion sense, but don't get me wrong either of them are no Larry. I love Three's Company.

Random Thoughts While Watching

• Dick Sargent is my favorite Sgt.
• Wait, The 1st Dick on Bewitched was Dick York and then replaced by Dick Sargent and combine them you get Sgt. York, the famous WWI Sgt. Weird.
• I love Old Fashion Town Drunks. All I have in my town is Town Meth heads and that just makes me sad. 
• And Meth Heads aren't golly, like Town Drunks. They look like zombies.
• Town Drunks are always happy and singing. Who doesn't love that.
• HE HIT HIS AND FELL DOWN! HAHAHAHA!!
• I love Town Drunks.
• Luther Hepps sure is good at losing his shit.
• The Town Drunk died. Oh man.
• By the hands of a Ghost, I might say.
• False Alarm, I fell for Luther Hepps' crazy schemes. Bastard.
• Some old broads are talking about dresses. I don't care.
• Luther gets his own story, I smell an adventure coming on.
• "I prefer Manifestations."
• Luther Hepps, a coward? Lies!
• Luther trying to have lunch with a girl but some random guy is sitting at their table because all the tables are full. He is eating his chicken noddle soup standing up. 
• Funny Stuff.
• Punch that jerk in the face, Don Knotts.
• GGGGGGHOSTS!!!!
• Luther just beat up a mannequin.
• A lady mannequin.
• Oh man, he is so scared.
• I love secret stairways and rooms, but they are only in haunted houses.
• He is now famous in his town for being a Chicken Shit. Phfff, Hollywood.
• A Hobo is trying to crash their town picnic, all he wants is food. They threw him out and people laughed.
• Some guy in the crowd keeps shouting "Attaboy!" Apparently according to imdb that become a nation wide catchphrase for a short period. 
• Attaboy, Luther!
• Elevator humor is the best.
• Now its a courtroom comedy.
• This movie is everything.
• I absolutely that "Attaboy" guy. I hope he continues to yell that throughout the film.
• Attaboy, Luther.

This is the first time I have seen this movie and I'll glad I watched it. It reminded me how talented Don Knotts was and how fun his movies are. I actually founded this movie to be funny and timeless. I originally thought this movie would be more like Abbott & Costello Meet Frankenstein or The Munsters, but was surprise to find out it's about Don Knotts seeing a ghost and trying to convince his small town what he saw was real and dives in a whole mystery and courtroom drama thing. The movie is mostly about Don Knotts and his town. This movie is a fun adventure and cannot recommend it enough. Attaboy, Luther!

Grade: A- 

Entry #81 - Film #2: Squirm (1976)

It's October 2nd and that means we are in Day #2 of the 31 Days of Halloween brought to you by the Fox Family Channel. Like Behold My Giant Human Brain, from my good friend Jeremiah Young, I am also writing about a horror film everyday this month. So, When I searching for today's feature, I began hunting through my already full Netflix queue and chosen a film about the one thing we all fear the most, the one thing we all shriek at sight, the horrible, the terrifying, the macabre, and the deadly...EARTHWORMS, so relax and sit calmly in your seat as I introduced to you...

Squirm (1976)

Directed by Jeff Lieberman

Unrated

92 mins. 
Watch on Netflix Watch Instantly

Summary

When a vicious storm ravages Fly Creek, Georgia, several power lines collapse, and the electrical current they transmit provides power to an underground burrow of worms. Soon, the slithering pests become outsized and begin to terrorize the town, while a Southern belle and her city-slicker boyfriend attempt to do battle with the giant creepy-crawlers.

Thats actually a pretty bitchin' ass poster. Just look at it, its way better than the Netflix poster and DVD cover art I saw. If I painted that poster on a van, I would get so much tail it would become more of a curse than a blessing. The van would be-a-rockin' so much I would probably have to change the shocks more often than normal vehicles. The amount of sex caused by the artwork will cause me to go to the doctor to frequently check for sexual transmitted diseases. I'm just saying that poster rocks. Other than having a Curse-Like Sex Causing Poster, I am excited to watch this movie. I have always been a fan of the 'When Nature Attacks' movies of the 1970's with films like Frogs and The Swarm, but what makes this film truly original is its attempt to make something as non-threatening and boring as the Earthworm into a blood trusty killer. I hope the deadly earthworm fights its arch enemy...HOT PAVEMENT.

Random Thoughts While Watching

• Opening Scroll. A mark for greatness.
• These people are so unaware for the true danger that awaits them. WORMS!
• I think MST3K did this movie, but I'm not sure
• I believe I've seen this movie before. It could have been a dream.
• Did I dream this movie? Am I dreaming now?
• Thats freaking out.
• ALL SWEET JESUS WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING!!!
• AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!
• CURRENTLY IN FULL ON FREAK OUT MODE!!!!
• SOMEONE OR SOMETHING IS FUCKING WITH MY BRAIN!!!
• SWEET JESUS JUST STOP!!!!
• STOP IT!!!!
• Wait, they did this movie on MST3K. OK. During the 10th or 11th season.
• I apologize for my out burst.
• I so hope this guys dies by worms.
• He orders an Egg Cream Drink, which is Chocolate syrup, Milk, and Soda Water. I have all of those now. 
• I shall make an Egg Cream.
• I lost all my worms.
• He has rape in his eyes.
• I am learning so much about worms.
• These worms are actually sand worms and blood worms from the ocean. That makes sense, I guess.
• Thats a lot of worms. 
• WATCH OUT FOR THOSE WORMS Y'ALL!!
• Worms.
• More Worms.
• Egg Creams taste weird, but I kind of like it. 
• Like this movie it kind of grows on you.
• Wow worms.
• Kill that guy, Worms.
• even more worms.
• less worms.
• end.

Not as good as the wonderfully costume designed film, The Swarm, but its entertaining enough.Since these worms are sand worms and blood worms and not the common Earthworm, I guess the film is slightly more threatening. I must say, but best thing about this movie is still the kick-ass poster above. THAT BE A FUCKIN' A POSTER.

Grade: C-

Entry #80 - Film #1: Unhinged (1982)

Like friend of the site, Behold My Giant Human Brain I am also doing a 31 days of Halloween for both celebrating the holiday and getting back into the habit of writing each day. I will be writing a short review or whatever it is I do, on a film in the horror nature everyday this month. Starting with today, which is...the first...of...October. Lets see if I can keep this up for a whole month, I am already busy with work and this play I am acting in. Any-Who!

For my first 31 days of Halloween thing, I've chosen a film deep within the vast Eli Osman.com video library, a film I know very little about, a film that was basically a blind buy, A film purchased from a pawn shop for 2 dollars...

Unhinged (1982) 

Directed by Don Gronquist

Unrated

80 mins.
Watch on DVD

Summary

Three college girls on their way to a jazz festival crash their car in the isolated woods during a rainstorm, and are taken in by a mysterious family in an old mansion. Little do the girls know, the family has a dark, murderous secret.

Random Thoughts While Watching

• This movies doesn't mess around, right off the bat with a nude shower scene.
• SHITS ABOUT TO GET UNHINGED!
• This film loves the overhead helicopter shots.
• Great synthesizer music.
• I see a door. I hope it doesn't get UNHINGED.
• If you see yourself in a horror movie scenario, never trust a person wearing flannel.
• Actually now that I think about it, never trust a person wearing flannel in general.
• Thats why I don't trust Richard Karn.
• Awesome, a long awkward diner scene. A very Terror at Red Wolf Inn like scene.
• Yeah old lady, you stare crazy-like at your food.
• "Did I ask you, SLUT?!"
• STOP PLAYING THE PIANO GIRLS, THERE IS A MAN STARING AT YOUR FROM THE WINDOW. HE LOOKS LIKE BE IS ABOUT TO UNHINGE SOME SHIT!!
• Creepy Moans. How very UNHINGING.
• You sure didn't have to unhinge these girls cloths for they be naked.
• "You really shouldn't be up here. You see,  the timbers inside the shed are unstable."
• SOME BITCH JUST GOT UNHINGED!
• So, this lady's dad raped some children. I guess that's pretty extreme for a 80's slasher film.
• Not enough Shit is getting UNHINGED. Come On.
• Way to Unhinge that girl with an axe to the face.
• YOU BE UNHINGED!
• I don't see any unstable timbers in that shed, only body parts.
• But to be fair they really didn't show the whole shed. There easily could be some unstable timbers somewhere in there.
• Actually this ending is pretty unhinging. 

Like most bad movies its about 80% boring 10% slightly-less boring 5% Pure unattended genius and 5% miscellaneous, costume design, and things. This movie is no exception. Overall its a pretty meh slasher film. Somehow it got Ban in England, but I think it was mostly politics and this was the newest slasher film released there. Its actually pretty tame besides the child rape back-story and the weird ending. The best thing about this is its length. Being only 80 minutes if your not enjoying it, you don't got much left. 

Grade: D