Entry #61 - VHS BOX ART

Entry #60 - Slack Ad

Here is an old magazine ad based on my catchphrase from my old TV show that I made up on the phone early today with Andrew Ford.

"Don't Slack on Slack Buyin" was my catchphrase from a primetime sitcom where I played a crazy tailor. The catchphrase is also an experiment to see how far I can take a horrible stupid joke.

Entry #59 - Movie of the Day

Since I recently changed my banner/logo thing to a weird barbarian picture, some of my trusty readers have asked me what movie is that from. Today I am proud to announce that picture is from the movie...

Time Barbarians (1990)

Directed by Joseph John Barmettler

96mins

Summary according to Netflix:

When Doran (Deron McBee), warrior king of the forest, butts heads with the evil wizard Mandrak (Daniel Martine), he puts his entire kingdom at risk. Following a barbarian war, Mandrak kills Doran's warrior queen, Lystra (Jo Ann Ayres), and escapes through a time portal to modern-day Los Angeles. Hell-bent on revenge, Doran follows Mandrak through time but finds himself trapped in a confounding world he doesn't understand.

Truth be told, I have not seen this movie. I found the picture randomly and it made me laugh, so I threw my name on it, like some sort of Spanish explorer or Thomas Edison or something. I can't think of a good joke. Those will do. So, not to promote something I have not seen because I have some sort of integrity, I went to track down, Time Barbarians. Luckily, I quickly found the movie on Netflix to watch instantly. So for today's Movie of the Day is the Conan the Barbarian / Deathstalker / Beastmaster ripoff and Troma released film, Time Barbarians.

Random Thoughts on Time Barbarians

• I am digging this Megaforce like two-tone opening credits and the early final fantasy NES score.
• Balls! A Scrolling Text.Awesome
• IN AN ANCIENT TIME OF SWORDS AND SCORCERY LIVED A REMOTE TRIBE OF BARBARIAN WARRIORS WHO BATTLED THE FORCES OF EVIL. THESE BARBARIANS WERE PROTECTED BY THE POWER OF A CRYSTAL  AMULET. THIS IS A STORY OF THEIR KING.
• They misspelled sorcery in the scrolling text. I am not scared.
• 3 Minutes in and an sword fight. Awesome.
• Gotta love cheap barbarian costumes. Probably cost about 3 bucks to make and about 20 bucks for the whole cast. Actors probably made it themselves. 
• FOG MACHINE.
• Fog makes the best set design.
• "Leave this Land. And Never return". Best line delivery ever. sounds like a dumb surfer/hair metal guy.
• There is no way this barbarian can fit into this futuristic early 90's world.
• this score does scream Troma Release.
• I like how feathered these barbarians air is.
• Stalk that bitch.
• A sex scene without nudity in a barbarian movie. Shame on you movie, Shame.
• This movie is written in a barbaric form of Shakespearean. 
• Never lose sight of the amulet.
• Too much badness to document. 
• This almost 8-bit score is louder than the dialog. I have the volume all the way up and I can not hear them talk. Maybe that's a good thing.
• 20:18 Boobs.
• Do thoughts of sadness fill your head?
• 26:20 Rape.
• I don't know whats going on.
• The bad guy has the crystal amulet and the other wants to pawn in for gold coins then they disappear. 
• I can't hear anything. Speak up dammit.
• Just go to Modern Day 1990 LA already. I'm getting bored.
• Grown men are running around pretending to be birds while sword fighting. 
• These guys sure play a fun make-a-believe.
• Are they going to rape him now.
• No, they just tied him up for the hell of it.
• Why do I watch movies like this. There is plenty of good films I have not seen, but no I have watch a barely audible movie about a time traveling barbarian who 50 minutes into this film still hasn't time traveled.
• I think watching this movie might make me reevaluate my life.
• You know, I started to watch the director's cut of Close Encounters of the Third Kind, but stopped it to finish Time Barbarians. I haven't seen Close Encounters for at least 10 years. I really don't remember that movie. But I know its a good movie. 
• 51 minutes in finally Modern Day 1990 LA.
• This is a super white street gang for LA. You never hear of drive byes involving Fat White bleached blonde guys.
• And these white street gangs always laugh. They never stop. 
• Of things to be amazed by in the future, he is amazed by a fence.
• 56:26 My Banner/logo Picture.
• Stuff is happening,
• Oh, Snap! A Sword fight with Time Barbarians in Modern Day 1990 LA.
• END.
  

This movie SUCKS, but it has it's moments.The movie is better as a random picture on this website.

Entry #58 - Random Google Image Search

Today's Random Google Image Search is...BATMAN

 

Entry #57 - The Opening Scene from Hellcopter: Helicopter From Hell

In the previous Buster H. McHenry's Hellcopter: Helicopter From Hell entry I only posted a line from the script, this is because I had not gotten permission to post the script for all to read. So, I gave Buster a call and he said I can post the script. He was always attached to this script and in some way still believes it will be made. This in mind, I have decided to post the script in scene by scene basis for I also still have hope this movie will be made. Maybe I should make it in the grindhouse vein.

You are about to read the opening scene of Hellcopter: Helicopter From Hell, This from the first draft of the script written in April of 1982, grammar mistakes might occur. He sent this draft to me instead of the slightly improved second draft. He is still new to email and stuff, I think his nephew sent this or something. Any-who I hope you enjoy it, I know I do.

*************

Ext. Jungle - day

VIETNAM 1969. The thick jungle is full of the madness of war. The sound of men dying and gun fire can be heard by our virgin ears. The extreme over head shot exposes the insanity of man's capability. But all you really see is the jungle. The jungle hides the horror. The jungle is the horror.

The sound of helicopters approaching can be heard.The Sound of helicopters is getting louder. There is a slight breeze on the tops of the thick jungle trees. The jungle seems calm, looks peaceful expect for the sounds of horror.

A fleet of helicopters enter frame. They come in like the cavalry with guns a blazen. There is soldiers on the sides of the helicopters shooting at the ground with big machine guns and flame throwers, some are dropping barrels of napalm. Flame erupt from underneath. The Soldiers all have a sadistic look our there far from innocent faces. More Flames erupt until it looks like a hell on Earth.

CUT TO.

OPENING CREDITS

HELLCOPTER: HELICOPTER FROM HELL over black.

****************

This is a rougher opening than I remember. During writing this script Buster H. McHenry was is a rough patch at home. He was going through a bitter divorce and took his anger and put it in this script. Basically all his writing was during this was very angry. In 1979 Buster H. McHenry moved from Ohio to Hollywood to become a screenwriter and filmmaker. He was there for five years and all he made was a few educational films and wrote an episode of a failed sitcom as a freelance gig. He was poor and penniless. When his wife left him, he got really depressed and that's when he wrote my favorite of his short stories, Skullfuckers From Iowa, which I posted a while back ago.

Stay Tuned For more Buster H. McHenry's Hellcopter: Helicopter From Hell.

Entry #56 - I Don't Want Too

I Don't Want To Write Today. You Write one because I aint gonna.

Entry #55 - A Lost Buster H. McHenry Classic

This is a section of a lost unproduced screenplay by Buster H. McHenry called HellCopter: Helicopter From Hell. It was written in 1982 and at one point was optioned with Jack Palance starring, but the studio went bankrupt.

Jack Palance in 1979

The script tells the gritty story of a psycho Vietnam helicopter pilot, Capt. Herc Stanaczyk (who was to be played by Jack Palance) who after slaughtering tons of innocent people in the war and having a complete mental breakdown is sent to a mental asylum. When he is released years later, he gets a job as a Helicopter Traffic Reporter at a local news channel. Suddenly helicopter related deaths start happening and young hot shot reporter Jim Carson (They never cast this role, but Buster wanted Eric Roberts) suspects Capt. Herc Stanaczyk is the killer, but can't prove anything. It all leads to a gruesome and action packed finale and plenty of helicopter related deaths.

Eric Roberts in 1981

EXT. COCKPIT - DAY
VIETNAM 1969. A younger looking Capt. Herc Stanaczyk is frantic, piloting the helicopter over a small village in the thick jungle. The Helicopter is full of wounded soldiers.

CAPT. HERC STANACZYK

God damn, slant eyes. Look at them run.
Like a fucking virus. And I have the perfect shot for them.

I have been a big fan of this script for years after Buster H. McHenry sent me a copy. I even made a reference of this script in an unaired TV pilot I made called Automated Pilot. Where I played a network executive and producer who actually made HellCopter: Helicopter From Hell and is planning on making a sequel with Judge Reinhold.

Stay Tuned for more scenes from HellCopter: Helicopter From Hell.

Entry #54 - CHiPs

GREATEST EPISODE OF CHiPs EVER.

Entry #53 - Shock'em Dead

GREATEST MOVIE EVER.



www.shockemdeadmovie.com

Entry #52 - Gloria

Gloria by Them (original version)



The Covers

The Snipes


Robb London & The Rogues


Patti Smith


The Doors

Entry #51 - El Camino

When I was younger there was one car I always wanted, THE EL CAMINO.
I am not sure why I liked the El Camino., maybe I loved the weirdness and craziness that the car/truck exist. Its kind of like a child's drawing of a car, like mixing their mom's car with their dad's truck.

Hell, today I will still get an El Camino, if having an old car wasn't so inconvenient and time composing. Just look at it, the car/truck is awesome. I now, if I would drive one of these car, people will notice.

BEHOLD A 1977 TV COMMERCIAL.



After watching this 1977 commercial I discovered the El Camino can also cause Dr. Manhattan body splitting powers.

Entry #50 - Wax On, Fuck Off

This is a new trailer for an awesome mockumentary about Ralph Macchio trying to become a Hollywood bad boy. It's from funnyordie, and if this turns out to be fake. I will lose my shit and throw a world wide known hissie fit. It will be epic.

Wax On, F*ck Off with Ralph Macchio from Ralph Macchio

ENTRY #49 - Have Love Will Travel

Entry #48 - Busy

I'm busy doing finals.

Entry #47 - Meh.

Video.

Entry #46 - An Essay I Wrote

Double Murder in West Union, Ohio

Who’s Really Behind The Murders of Bo Freeland and Regina King?
Posted in the Topix.com West Union Forum.

heymanband: It sure isn’t Donovan!
Dixichick: No one will ever know the truth, the sheriff’s department needed to get someone for it so they did – they won’t explore other possibilities now. He’s done convicted in there eyes

West Union, Ohio is like any other small rural mid-west town. There’s a Wal-Mart, an old-fashion pharmacy, farms, a run down diner, a bowling alley, and farms. The folks are simple; they eat apple pie in the summer and pumpkin pie in the fall.

On January 3rd, 2009 in Tiffin Township – a murder occurred. In a town with a population barely over 2,500, murder shakes the town’s foundation. In the last decade there has been roughly one murder per year, and most are still unsolved. Most go unsolved, due to the lack of experience of the West Union police force, the town’s only detective just recently retired. But the Bo Freeland and Regina King Murder was different, the town had a face to go with the murders and a chance for the town to finally be on the local news.

The Bo Freeland and Regina King Murders was a case everyone in town had opinions on. It became the OJ Simpson Trial of West Union. There was only one other murder case that was more popular than the Bo Freeland and Regina King Murders and that was a case that happened eight years ago, when a 14-year-old boy stabbed his aunt to death in the middle of the night and blamed it on playing too much video games. Surprisingly, that excused worked in court. Mothers even tried to sue the makers of the video game, Diablo, in an attempt to stop future murders.

Who’s Really Behind The Murders of Bo Freeland and Regina King?
Posted in the Topix.com West Union Forum.

anonymous: You are 100% right about that. Another case where justice will not be served for the true guilty ones. It’s a damn shame too. Leavin guilty murderers out there…knowing that if they kill once they’ll probably do it again.
just_my_thoughts_to_you: well here it is. I feel for both sides of the family’s cuz either way u look at this awful crime everyone loses there is no winners in a drug rat race cuz people die n people go to prison while the family’s r out here trying to sort though the pieces and pull what’s left of their lives back together, the families struggling with this is the true victims here. So to Bo n Regina’s family n to Donovan’s family may god give u all strength. Justice will be served even if it’s in your minds. God bless u all.

The murders unfolded on the night of January 3rd. A man broke into the doublewide trailer of known drug dealer, 44-year-old Samuel “Bo” Freeland Jr. and his girlfriend, 28-year-old Regina King located in a subdued wooded area. The man was carrying a shotgun and fired two rounds; one striking Freeland in the chest, killing him instantly, while the other shot and severely wounded King. Having only brought two shotgun shells, and with King still alive, the man took the front of his gun and proceeded to stab King to death with it. The man quickly fled the scene. A friend of Freeland found the bodies the next morning, when he failed to show up for a job.

Bo Freeland was a drug dealer in the area – or as the local Adams County newspaper, The People’s Defender – referred to him as a “self-employed contractor”. Freeland had his own meth lab and was known to have been selling drugs anywhere from marijuana to cocaine to prescription drugs. He was a step above the normal pot dealers you’d meet in school. He was involved in heavier drug dealings or at least for rural Ohio. With drugs involved in the murder, it is easy to rule out a robbery gone awry. The murder was clearly a planned execution.

The police questioned all known acquaintances of the victims and even offered a $2000 dollar reward for any information leading to the arrest of the murderer. After a few days of getting no leads, a known acquaintance of Freeland, 22-year-old Donovan Fite with no previous police record walked into the police station and confessed to the crimes. All of Fite’s confession matched the scene of the crime. He was arrested for two counts of murder with a bail set at one million dollars for each murder.

On April 27th, Fite was arraigned by a grand jury and pleaded “Not Guilty.” As of October 17, 2009 there still hasn’t been a main trial or conviction.

Who’s Really Behind the Murders of Bo Freeland and Regina King?
Posted in the Topix.com West Union Forum.

WHAT: sorry I guess should have read the next page before I posted.
just_my_thoughts: why don’t you all get a life and leave Bo and Regina’s family alone, haven’t they all been through enough. And until you all become CSI agents stop pointing your finger, cause Donovan already confessed and I’m sure more will come out in court so mind your business.
The_Truth: I have read all the comments and the is my theory that Paula put her son Chris up to killing his own father to collect the insurance money and Donovan was at the wrong place at the wrong time. Or maybe he was in on it. And that’s what I think.

On January 6th, the family of Bo Freeland was faced with even more tragedy. During the funeral for Freeland, two unknown people broke into the homes of the family members and stole as much as they could. This action caused even more uproar in the community. Who in their right mind would rob a family while they are at a funeral for a loved one? The family was not even safe after his death. When it comes to the drug world, and your messing with desperate people, even actions like robbing a grieving family is possible. No arrests were made.

With the endless amounts of cop and police shows on TV, normal citizens believe they have what it takes to solve a murder. Without visiting the crimes or interviewing suspects or getting some sort of DNA evidence several people in the town have their own theories on the murders. One such theory is the classic ‘ex-wife killed them for the life insurance money’ or the slightly different version, ‘the ex-wife and son killed them for the life insurance money.’ Another theory, which many people believe, is two drug dealers from Maysville, Kentucky, shot and killed Freeland and King and framed Donovan Fite for it. He only confessed to the crime so the two drug dealers would not kill his mother and himself.

Murder in a small town is different from a city. The town takes responsibility for the crime. They believe that stuff is for the cities and the one of the main reasons people live in small town is the safety. In small towns, you don’t have to worry about locking your door or letting your kids play outside, but when a horrible crime occurs it makes the people question. Why should we live here, when it’s no different from anywhere else?

Who’s Really Behind the Murders of Bo Freeland and Regina King?
Posted in the Topix.com West Union Forum.

Just_my_thoughts: you all need to leave Chris and Paula alone and stop spreading these crazy rumors Chris loved his dad, and just because Paula and Bo were divorced Paula still loved him.

Entry #45 - TV Show Pilot of the Day

For today's feature I am going to review some old TV Show pilot from Hulu.com and today's lucky show is...

"Campus Cops" 1995
Lasted One Season (13 Episodes or 9 Episodes?)
Originally Aired on The USA Network

Summary According to imdb: No Plot Given.
Summary According to Hulu: Follow the antics of young University Cops. Originally aired in 1995.

With hulu's in-depth synopsis, this show is probably going to be some sort of college romp of fun and being a college students, I how much of a romp it can be. As for Campus Cops at my school, I never really see them, I think the school had to cut back on funds or something.

This is weird and mysterious Show on hulu. There is little to no reviews and barely no information on imdb and nothing on wikipedia. This is a very obscure TV show for any website let alone hulu. It looks like a shitty cheap low budget sitcom, which should be fun to watch.


Random Thoughts on Campus Cops

• Wow, one is a crazy party animal and the other one is a by-the-book party animal.
  
• Hell yeah it's starring Ben Bode.
• I am shaking my fist at the screen and yelling Damn that Dean.
• We had to remove his upper jaw.
• This Police Academy Rip-Off is not Police Academy-y enough.
• This two main Campus Cops are perverts.
• A Campus Cop in 1995 can afford a cell? This college must pay well.
• Damn that Dean.
• I love me some Swedish stereotypes.
• My arm is getting tired from shaking my fist at that Damn Dean.
• This crazy Campus Cops are about to have some kind of turf war with an other school's Campus Cops
• Oh, yeah. I forgot to say this episode is about the school's mascot, a muskrat getting stolen.
• I look too much like Ned Beatty to go to jail.
• Now these crazy Campus Cops killed the muskrat by feeding it 12 bags of Cheese Puffs.
• Now there is some sort of medical drama spoof with the muskrat. I want them to know I don't care anymore.
  
• Now the muskrat is mistaken for a hot dog.
• The big game ends in a tie, the Campus Cops high-five then cuts to back. Deep.

Overall this TV Show is Shit, but a pleasant shit.

Entry #44 - Next Time

I made a kick-ass drawing, but I haven't scanned it yet. So, this statement is all you get.
And this video. enjoy.

Entry #43 - Random Photo Search

For today's random Google image search, I choose... NES.

I learned too many people has too much time on their hands.

Entry #42 - Another Stupid Video I Made

HERE IS A STUPID VIDEO I MADE. IT'S VERY STUPID. I DON'T CARE.

Pipe Time With Eli from Eli Osman on Vimeo.

Entry #41 - Another Drawing

I don't know why or when I drew this, but I call it Gym Dracula. All he wants is a good workout. If you stare at it long enough you'll see the true face of god...

the true face of god...