Tuesday, April 27, 2010

Entry #3 56 Old Movie Pitches

Here is a some old movies pitches I wrote in 2006 and several throughout the years on an old blog. I kind of remember these. Some are funny. Enjoy

- Eli J Osman

1. Twilight Zone without Irony Twists

2. Frankenstein Monster's Rides a Moped

3. Zombie Waterside

4. Law & Order: Special Keystone Unit

5. Ernest Borgnine is Batman

6. Dracula Mow's Your Lawn (Game Show)

7. Marooned in Space (Movie then TV Show)

8. The Eli Osman Show

9. The Great Gazoo Vs. Predator (Whoever Wins, We Die)

10. Tornadoes in Space

11. Guess Who 2: Even More Racist

12. Jeremiah Young Run for Fifth Grade Class President, Today

13. The Hitcher: Hitch Part 2

14. Kramer Vs. Kramer (Remake [Whoever Wins, We Die])

15. The Devil's Rain II

16. Corpse Tossing

17. Two Half Men

18. 12 Angry Black Men

19. Fishing With Vampires

20. Watch Eli Osman Watch TV

21. Underwater Dating Game

22. Fortune Cookie or Onion Ring

23. Doc Hollywood with Talking Cars

24. Bill Paxton or Bill Pullman

25. The Peter Weller Colgate Comedy Hour

26. Kelly Ripa, Assassin

27. Eli Osman, Agent of Justice

28. ?

29. Samuel L Jackson Yells at People for 90 Minutes

30. Pants Off, Dance Off: The Movie

31. Timmy the Tooth, Sexual Predator

32. Kettle Chips Vs. Ruffle Chips (Whoever Wins, We Die)

33. Attack of the Killer 30% Off Tomatoes (A Sale So Good it's Deadly )

34. Dracula's Mid-Term Exam

35. An American Werewolf President (Michael Douglas as a werewolf President)

36. Zombie Reagan Vs. Zombie Ford

37. Frank the Umpire Vampire (Your Out.....of Blood)

38. Friday the 13th Part 14 Jason Takes Your Seat

39. Samuel L Jackson Yells at Eli for 90 Minutes (It'll be funny cause I'm in it)

40. An Tooth Brush Runs for Senate (and Wins)

41. Jurassic Park of Flies (a Park full of clones of Jeff Goldbulm in The Fly)

42. Star Trek in Space

43. Peanuts trapped in Peanut Shells

44. Coffee Break: The Movie (Random Scenes of People on there Coffee Break)

45. Uwe Boll's Citizen Kane (I wish)

46. A version of Eraserhead that makes sense

47. Dakota Fanning Killing Hobos

48. Documentary on How Halloween III is Good and Everyone is Wrong

49. A Non-Christmas Tim Allen Movie

50. A Comedy Featuring the Music of Smash Mouth

51. Monday Night Football - A slasher film where a NFL football team comes to a small Indiana Town to Kill teenagers.

52. Turner and Cujo - Tom Hanks teams up with Stephen King's Cujo to catch criminals or possibly Tom Hanks gets mauled for 90 min.

53. Dakota Fanning Kills Hobos - This idea was in a previous entry but I believe it is worth mentioning again.

54. Rance Taylor: Space Lawyer - The twist to this movie or maybe TV show or Both is this movie doesn't take place in space and Rance Taylor is not a Space Lawyer, it is actually about Rance Taylor who rapes children.

55. Lenny & Squiggy: Time Cops

56. Number 23 Part 2 - A guy gets angry when he realizes that most numbers don't equal 23 and that the movie sucked ass. Based on a True Story

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